Pain Experts

I went to a pain management specialist today. My appointment was at 9:15, which seemed more than reasonable for getting me to work by noon. Then he didn't see me until 10:30, and then asked a bunch of questions (why do they ask the same questions on the sheets you've already filled out?), and then he sent some helper over to the other clinic to grab some stuff. So, at noon, when I was supposed to be starting work, I was lying on one of those stupid doctor bed things, with some long Q-tips covered in novacaine-like stuff way up my nose. Which really hurt like the devil. I thought I was tough, but I cried. Next week he's going to try giving me shots in the head, which frankly sounds much happier than the nose thing.

It was a lousy day. I didn't get much sleep the night before (probably shouldn't have read the second book), I had the nose incident which made me late for work, and then I had an argument with my ex-husband. I know, why? I just called him back to tell him to please not put me as a job reference. Which I shouldn't have even had to do, because seriously? Anyway, lousy day. My advice: skip the Q-tips.

Have a Heart

I went to the cardiologist on Tuesday, and I have a great bruise on my inner right elbow to prove it. I wanted to check and see if I had a hole in my heart that might be the cause of the IPH. One of my coworker's best friend had really bad headaches and after surgery to repair the hole in her heart was all better. And my sister's husband's sister-in-law that is a nurse asked one of her neurologist friends about my headaches and he suggested I investigate the possibility.

After getting a referral from my primary care physician (who is very nice and had me get an appointment with some pain management specialists also) I went to the cardiologist. They did an EKG, which was normal. Asked me a bunch of family health questions, which I didn't know. Then the actual doctor asked me why I was there. When I explained about the headaches and my hope that I had a hole in my heart, he was very nice and got me immediately in to get an ultrasound.

For the ultrasound, they have to put in an IV so that they can pump air through your veins to see if the bubbles travel from one side of the heart to the other, since most holes are too small to really see. So, the guy stuck me with a needle but that vein collapsed, so then he got another guy and they tried for fifteen minutes to get a vein to poke. I asked how it was going. The second guy said, "You just don't have any veins jumping out and saying to poke them with a needle." I said, "That's because they're scared." And he said, "So am I!" But, they finally got it in, and I laid there and watched the cool ultrasound pictures, in color with the whole Doppler thing for a while. And then they were done.

The doctor came in and said he had good news and bad news. They don't know what is causing the headaches, but my heart is perfectly healthy. I almost cried. The ultrasound guy said he was sorry they hadn't found anything (probably a first for that!) and I made it to the car before I broke down bawling. I was so sure this nightmare was going to over soon. And now I have a big doctor bill to look forward to. Life really sucks sometimes.

Doing Something Right

I got an email today from one of my natural health research contacts, and it mentioned a study where they found that taking a combination of vitamin D3 and curcumin was found to help increase cognitive function in people with Alzheimer's. I knew I was taking curcumin with my Turmeric pills, and I knew the witch doctor had started me on vit D drops. Sure enough, it's D3. Look at that - without even trying!

Surviving Versus Living

You know those days when you're just grateful because you made it through another day, and it's over? What really sucks is when it seems like every day is like that. There's no progress being made in your life, but, darn it, you made it through work and you're still alive, and that's the best you can do.

I've been sleeping probably about 12 hours or so a day, which doesn't really leave time for much besides my job. I have things I want to do, things I need to do, things I should do, but I just have no energy to do them. I work hard at my job, but it seems like that's all the energy I have available. It's depressing, in its own little way.

There is one thing I have been doing, though. I've been doing the 100 push-ups program from their website, and I'm onto the third week. I didn't realize how weak I was, but when I started I could only do 4, and at the end of 2 weeks I could do 17, which I think is a big improvement. Not earth-shattering, but at least it's something, right?

So, about the whole internal health thing. . .

My last visit to the witch doctor revealed more troubling things. After a review of my last blood work ordered by my regular doctor, I was told that I had an infection, and I was hypoglycemic on the way to Type 2 diabetes. Here's what I don't understand - since the first of the year or so, I've been dropping weight. We're talking 30 pounds or so. And believe me, I didn't have it to lose in the beginning. I'm 5'7" and down to 105 last time I checked, which was a while ago because I've been scared to weigh myself. I had to buy a belt, and I hate wearing belts, and all my clothes are falling off, and I'm way too bony. So, why is it that my health problems, as far as thyroid and blood sugar levels, indicate that I should be overweight? It doesn't make sense, hence the not understanding.

Anyway, he also decided that my body doesn't tolerate wheat. So, I have to cut out all wheat products, and the sugary stuff. There goes my diet! I was eating junk food with a fairly clear conscience because I needed to gain weight, but now I have to depend on protein and other healthy stuff. Almonds are now my friend. (Assuming friends are something you eat.) I knew the day would come when I had to eat healthy, I was just hoping it wasn't yet.

He added vitamin D-3 to my supplements - it's liquid in an olive oil base. I'm supposed to take 4 drops twice a day, but the only way I've figured out how to do it is to shake it onto my palm and then lick it off - not elegant. It's supposed to help with the infection and heal my gut. The other addition is zinc, which I'm deficient in.

While I'm whining, did you know that the way the regular medical profession determines the acceptable levels of blood stuff is to gather the data from a huge group of people that are within 5 years age range and the same sex and then average? What upsets me is that they don't determine appropriate inclusion based on health or not - so the levels include people with pretty much every kind of disease and illness. Thus the acceptable ranges are so wide-reaching that you have to be really screwed up to fall outside of them. No wonder they don't catch minor problems before they become major. Rant over.

Organic Products

Lately I've been getting more and more concerned about the prevalence of toxic substances that we use every day. Makeup, shampoo, deodorant, etc. Not that I actually use make-up every day. But, the point is, there's no way that buildup can be good for us. Our bodies have so much toxicity to fight off daily just because of the environments that we live in, that there's no reason to put that much more in deliberately through our skin. I've been thinking I should wait until I'm a bit more financially secure before spending the extra money on products that won't kill me, but it's so much easier to clean up externally than with the junk I internalize through eating, that I think it's probably worth a shot. After all, should anyone really have to walk around being scared of their mascara?

Things That Help

Here are the supplements that I take daily, that seem to help:
Omega3/6/9 (right ratio of good fats from fish/borage/flax)
Primrose Oil (helps with PMS)
Thyroid Essentials
Kelp (otherwise I itch all over without the iodine, because of my thyroid)
Probiotics (without these my tummy will hurt after every meal)
CoQ10 (good for cardiovascular health - I think it helps with my circulation)
Adrenal Stuff
Cyruta (good for circulation)
Spirulina and Chorella (keeps me regular, detoxifies)
Tumeric (one of the best natural anti-inflammatory sources)
Melatonin (otherwise I wouldn't sleep)

My relaxation CD that I got from the psychologist that did biofeedback with me is really great for helping me clear my mind at the end of the day.

Doing things I really enjoy seems to decrease the frequency of my IPH, at least while I'm doing it. For me, that means mostly writing or reading.