Question:

I've been listening to a bunch of books on tape at work. I've heard about politics, food, brain problems, money, etc. Yesterday I finished up a book (Start From Where You Are) that talked about how, if you aren't so excited about your life and what you're doing with it that you can barely wait to get up every morning, then you're not doing what you should be doing with your life. Being the type of person who drags myself from my bed every morning (or afternoon) under protest, I thought that was interesting. But, it made me curious. Is it normal for people to be excited to get up in the morning? I've added a very scientific poll to find out. Please choose the option that best describes you the majority of the time, and we'll see if I'm the only one leading an unfulfilling life.

I'm mad at God, and myself, and the whole stinking world

I read somewhere recently that it was okay to be mad at God, because He could take it. Well, I sure hope so, because I can't deal with this any more. And since there is nothing I can do to change it, all I can do at this point is whine about it. I got a stupid cold/flu thing a few days ago. That's been making me miserable. A stuffy head makes my headaches a lot worse. Then I got cramps, which are just horrible by themselves. Then I went to church, which, for whatever reason (my personal feeling is that God doesn't want me there so my headaches intensify while I'm there) always makes my headaches insanely bad. So, now I'm having a breakdown. And, for those of you that think I'm always having a breakdown, I just want to point out that I spend a great deal of my life pretending to be an adult. Not right now, mind you, when all I really want to do is call my mommy and cry, but most of the time. Which is another gripe. If trials are really supposed to just be there to teach us lessons and all of that crap, then why, after I try so hard to be good and helpful and pleasant and calm, do I still have to go through the stupid trial? Obviously I'm going to fail if you make it long enough. People can only withstand torture for so long, it's a fact. And if anyone thinks I'm exaggerating with the torture, you just try this for a day or so and we'll see how you hold up without going stark raving mad and wanting someone to put a bullet in you. And then do it for nine more years. Which brings me to another point. Why is suicide wrong? It doesn't make sense. I understand that even though life gets so unbearable you can't handle it, it usually turns around. But, what if it doesn't? If life stays unbearable forever, why do you have to put up with it? Who benefits from that? Why is it humane to kill animals to end their suffering, but not okay for humans? Did I mention I'm just really mad at the world right now? I'm so tired of things not being fair. And I know other people have problems, blah, blah, blah. . .but I just don't care right now. I'll make a deal - if my problems go away, I'll care a whole lot about other people's problems. . . how's that?

Just when you think God's ignoring you. . .

I figure God hears enough of my whining that maybe He's started to tune me out. Until I was talking to my sister today about whether God ever just miscalculates how much someone can really handle. I mean, it's possible, right? Simple enough mistake to make. Understandable really. Some of us do appear quite tough (I'm flexing here). But the camel is buried in a big straw stack at this point. My headaches are off the chart bad, and I'm not dealing well. They are changing, which I prefer to see as a positive thing, but since they're getting worse, maybe that's not the most accurate way of seeing it. It's like a sledgehammer now instead of an icepick, and the duration has at least doubled, if not tripled. The frequency is down a bit, but the intensity's up. Can't have everything.

So, how do I know that God still has an ear out for me? The daily motivation I get in my email today said (in part): "Who you truly are, is always much stronger than whatever you might be going through." I suppose it's nicer than just saying "Stop whining and deal with it".

Learning. . .

It's always amazed me that the human body, with so many complex systems and organs, not to mention the human soul, arrives in this world with no user manual. No instructions, no warning labels, no guidelines attached. As each of my siblings has become a parent, I've watched in awe as they care for these tiny infants with no defined rules. How do you know why they're crying? What are you supposed to feed them, and how soon? How sick do they have to be to take them to the doctor? How do you teach them everything they need to know to care for themselves? It's a fascinating study, and everyone's parenting style is so different.

For me, the questions don't stop at childhood. How do you care for an adult person properly? What comprises good nutrition? How do you make sure that you, personally, are getting the right mixture of sleep, relaxation, work, play, food, water, exercise, fresh air, spiritual interaction, social interaction, intellectual stimulation, etc, in your life to ensure your happiness, health, survival, and passion for life? And why don't we come with user manuals?

My latest chiropractor, who specializes in NUCCA, which involves adjusting just the atlas bone, is also someone with an extraordinary passion for exploring the way the body functions. He's been hosting a radio show for years now that, every Wednesday morning, discusses health, and he gives copies of his shows away at his office. Very interesting stuff. He's entertaining and informative, and I've been listening to some of the CD's at work lately.

Random things I never knew: the bloodstream is the body's number one priority. Your body will put toxins anywhere but the blood, so medical bloodtests will only detect problems after they've been there for a while and gotten quite serious. A clean liver is a happy body. Your liver is your first filtration system, and once the enzymes are gone, your health will fail. An improperly working liver is what causes sluggishness and general apathy. The typical American diet destroys your enzymes. The best foods for general digestive health: broccoli, brussel sprouts, asparagus, egg yolks, red pepper, garlic, onions, cabbage, shallots, and scallions. Your body requires salt, and not for the added iodine. Good fats are essential. Since the low-fat diet was introduced, cancer rates have skyrocketed. Cancer cells have the highest concentration of two elements: ascorbic acid and sugars. Any antacids that you take are artificially opening a valve and depositing toxins into the next area, where the problem will just get worse. If your digestion isn't working properly, your body will not absorb any nutrients from your food (assuming there is any there to begin with). There are a few stages of how your body deals with toxins: the first stage involves the body attempting to excrete it (snot, puke, sweat, rashes, acne, diarrhea, etc), the second stage is inflammation where the body will try and burn it out. In the third stage the body will temporarily deposit the toxins in a non-vital fat tissue area to store for later cleanup, and it will encase the toxin in a covering. Once the body is unable to continue with the energy and resources necessary to keep the covering, it will dissolve and the toxins will spread again. Once the toxins are running rampant, it's pretty much all over. That's why children get "sick" (runny noses, coughs, fevers, etc) more often than adults, because their bodies are still working properly and trying to expel the toxins. As we age we may get sick less and assume that we're therefore healthier, without realizing that our bodies have just given up. The stored toxins will contribute to the tired feeling of "aging".

I've also learned how to say "yes" and "no" in Hindi, but that's something different entirely.

I'm Done

Okay, it's official - I'm done. I'm handing in my resignation and quitting. The universe knows that I can't handle anything else and yet it handed me more. If it's not going to play fair, neither am I. I quit.

Essential Oils

I got some essential oils a couple of days ago. Okay, 25 of them. And a box, fractionated coconut oil, a diffuser, and some pills. Point is, they're really pretty fun. Apparently they cure about everything. Haven't gotten rid of the IPH yet, but I'm trying. So far they've helped with energy, mood, bug bites, disinfecting, circulation, pimples, sleep, and cramps. Endless fun!

I'll never let the chiropractor cut my hair again!

So, my sister and I went to the chiropractor last week (the witch doctor, not the muscle one) and had some extensive tests done. Well, I had extensive tests done, we went back after we realized she got gypped. He cut some hair off to do toxicity testing on, and ended up chopping off about 7 different clumps, down by the root. Now, every time I feel my hair, there are all these nasty pokey pieces that annoy me. Now we're waiting, for both the results, and the stool sample collection kit that's supposed to arrive in the mail. I know, such a cool thing to wait for ;)

I'm also waiting for my hair to grow back. . .

Still waiting. . .