Monday, August 1, 2011

Step One: Identify the Problem

I've been sick since Thursday. I know, I never get sick. But I woke up feeling horrible, and after puking called in sick. Tried to get up with a positive attitude and go to work on Friday, but after trying to get dressed left me sweaty and crying (and not dressed), I gave up and called in again. I just spent the last four days possibly more miserable than I've ever been before, napping on the bed, watching TV on the couch, visiting the bathroom frequently, lying on the floor because one of those destinations was too far away from the other. . .no fun. So, in trying to figure out what it was/is, here's what I'm working with:

SYMPTOMS:
fever/chills
huge bloated solid tummy
stomach cramps from hell
heartburn
nausea/vomiting
headaches
dizziness
general feeling of weakness like something is sucking my life's energy
extreme fatigue
full body ache
lower back pain
not hungry

CONCLUSION:
alien baby

Seriously, what else could it be?

4 comments:

Pamela said...

Are you still sick? I'm sorry. Yours seems a good diagnosis--I don't know what else it could be. :)

Arlyn said...

The flu. A mean one.

Maria said...

I don't know how long you posted this Monica but that sounds exactly how I feel (minus the distended stomache) when I experience extreme die-off symptoms. Were you doing any sort of cleansing diet?

Monica said...

Not at all. Just my usual eat like crap diet. I'll avoid cleansing diets if they feel like that, though!