And I would have looked so good in a uniform -

The Navy recruiter called yesterday night. I hadn't heard from him for two weeks - he was supposed to be checking on whether I could get a waiver for my thyroid medication. Apparently the Navy doesn't want me with my medical history. Imagine that! At least now I don't have to learn how to swim.

I lied. . .

Tonight at work they had an appreciation dinner. You know, one to say thank you to all the people they're laying off. It was a nice dinner. I sat at a table with a couple of women I rarely have the chance to talk to and about halfway through, one of them asked if I had a headache. Could have been the whole grabbing the head every few minutes thing, it's usually a sure giveaway. Anyway, I said oh, I always have a headache. Which, far from ending the questions, just got them going. Yes, I'd seen every doctor about them, no, there was nothing they could do. Seven years. Yeah, it sucks. Do I have them when I sleep - yes. It was then I uttered quite possibly the stupidest line of the night: "I don't really wake up for them, though, so it just affects my quality of sleep. Really, they're not so terrible." Immediately after saying this, I realized that in my effort to end the discussion, I'd just lied. They are terrible. I just don't figure anybody really wants to hear how terrible. I could have said I cry everyday and that I envy my 18-month-old niece for being able to scream when she hurts. I could have said that I'm so tired of hurting all the time that I'd be pretty willing to sell my soul for a pain-free rest of my life. I could have said I lie in bed in the morning, not wanting to get up and do it all over again, and that surviving instead of living really doesn't seem fair. But, I didn't. And then we talked about TV shows.